


Gold Is Cold (And So Is Your Heart)

by MysteryWriter36



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Making Out, Prompt Fill, School Reunion, Smoking, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 10:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysteryWriter36/pseuds/MysteryWriter36
Summary: Lafayette goes to his high school reunion and runs into his old flame, who he’s still very much in love with.





	Gold Is Cold (And So Is Your Heart)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry. I really am.

To say that Lafayette was nervous would be an understatement. The moment he pulls into the parking lot, he feels like opening his car door and puking on the spot. It isn’t like he hasn’t felt this way since he got the invitation to his high school’s ten year reunion, but actually being here only heightens his emotions.

He’d burned through a few packs of cigarettes in the past month since receiving the invitation, just when he thought he nearly had the habit kicked. The idea of coming back and seeing _him_ after so long fills Lafayette with so many strong emotions, but he knew if he didn’t go that he would kick himself over it for the next ten years until the next excuse rolled around. He knew he’d spend late nights drinking wine and wondering what if, and he couldn’t do that to himself. However, he was beginning to wonder if that could possibly be worse than this.

Lafayette hasn’t spoken to Alexander in nearly eight years, and hasn’t actually seen him in person since Christmas Break during their first year of college, months before they eventually broke things off after nearly four years together. Eventually, they drifted apart and stopped speaking, and Lafayette abandoned all attempts to contact or interact with Alexander to ease the pain on his broken heart. It hasn’t helped much.

Lafayette checks the time on his phone, cursing upon seeing that he is half an hour late, before shoving the phone back in his pocket and heading inside the school. The building itself hasn’t changed much since he graduated. He follows the old hallways he rushed through as a teenager to the gym, where everyone is already drinking and dancing. A few classmates greet him with warm smiles and friendly handshakes, but there’s no sign of Alexander anywhere. Lafayette grabs himself a cup of punch (which is definitely spiked with some sort of cheap whiskey, because it tastes of alcohol and death) and begins mingling, catching up with old friends and slowly starting to relax.

He’s carrying on a conversation with one of his former teachers when he spots a familiar face over the woman’s shoulder, on the far end of the room. For a brief moment, Lafayette locks eyes with Alexander, and the eye contact alone makes Lafayette’s heart race and his stomach churn. He’s as beautiful as ever, with his long brown hair and intelligent eyes, his right hand curled around a cup, and his left in the pocket of his pants. Lafayette tears his gaze from Alexander’s and says to the woman, “Excuse me, I really need to use the bathroom.” Without waiting for a response, he turns and leaves the gym as quickly as he can without seeming obviously weird about it, walking right past the restrooms and out the nearest exit.

It’s dark outside, probably around nine-thirty or so. Lafayette leans against the cool brick wall, the shadows hiding him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack out cigarettes, pulling one out and placing it between his lips before lighting it. He takes a long drag as he stares up at the moon, wondering why he came here just to torture himself like this- why he came here if he was just going to bolt at the first sight of Alexander.

He doesn’t get much time to think up an answer before his silence is interrupted by the squeaking of the door several feet away.

“You look kinda hot like this.”

Lafayette bristles, unsure what to say, but his mouth moves before his brain thinks. “There’s nothing sexy about smoking, Alex.” he says dryly.

“I meant your body in the moonlight, asshole.” Alexander says with a soft laugh.

Lafayette doesn’t turn to look at Alexander, but he can feel the man’s arm barely brush against his. They stand there in complete silence. Of course, it’s Alexander who breaks the silence.

“How’s life been?”

“Really? Eight years and that’s all you have to say?”

“Laf, I-“

“No, I don’t want to hear it. Just let me fucking smoke in peace. I’m stressed and I don’t need this right now.”

“You never tried to contact me, either. Don’t act like it’s my fault.”  
  
Lafayette finally turns to face Alexander, fury boiling under his skin, but when he sees the man’s face it all melts away.

“You broke up with me, and then we drifted apart. I wasn’t about to try and hang on to the threads of a dying friendship when every day hurt because you didn’t love me anymore. I needed time and space.” Lafayette drops his cigarette in the grass and stomps it out with his shoe. “Apparently, you’re good at giving me that, so why not just keep it up-“

“Because I love you.” Alexander interrupts, looking up at Lafayette. “I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry I stopped talking to you, I just-“

Alexander is silenced by Lafayette’s lips on his, kissing hungrily, trying to make up for the all the lost years. Alexander kisses back, placing his hands on Lafayette’s hips and pushing him against the wall.

“I missed you.” Lafayette mutters between kisses.

“Missed you, too,” Alexander replies, moving his lips to Lafayette’s neck as he fumbles with the buttons on Lafayette’s shirt. “Why didn’t you try to talk to me? Come see me?”

Lafayette runs his hands through Alexander’s hair and whines as he starts sucking a hickey onto his neck. “Th-thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

Alexander pulls back to look at Lafayette with what he can only describe as pure love and adoration. “Oh, baby,” he says lowly, bringing a hand up to cup Lafayette’s face, “I’ve always wanted you. Will always want you.”

Lafayette’s heart nearly bursts out of his chest and he leans into Alexander’s touch, the soft skin of his palm against his beard and the slight, cool touch of metal.

Lafayette’s eyes fly open, a look of alarm crossing his face.

“Laf, baby? What’s wrong?”

“Alexander,” he whispers quietly, disbelief and fear coloring his tone, “Alexander, please...please tell me you’re not...” Tears gather in his eyes and he bites his bottom lip.

He doesn’t need to ask. He knows what a ring on someone’s left hand means. But God, he hopes Alexander has an explanation other than the obvious.

Alexander’s face falls, and his mouth opens, but no words come out. That’s all Lafayette needs to push him away. Now he knows what Alexander has been doing all these years.

“Who are they? How long?”

Alexander regains his composure. “That doesn’t matter.”

Lafayette’s face morphs into one of disgust. “What does matter to you, Hamilton?”

Hamilton slips off his wedding ring and pockets it, then steps close to Lafayette. “What matters is that I love you and I want you. So why don’t you just pretend you never saw the ring, and let’s go to whatever cushy hotel room you’ve booked for the weekend, and spend all night ruining the sheets?” Hamilton asks, bringing his hand back up to cup Lafayette’s cheek, his thumb stroking across his cheekbone.

Lafayette knows that if he stays in this spot, if he allows Hamilton to kiss him, that he’ll drown in the man once again. He knows that he’ll follow through with the man’s suggestion. He wants him, God how he wants him, but not like this, so he roughly shoves Hamilton away.

“Go to Hell, Hamilton.” he spits before walking to his car.

He speeds out of the parking lot and stops for another pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine on his way back to the hotel. He’s sure that it’s going to be a long night.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed this! You can also find me on my tumblr @jacqueswrites


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